Another important point is our motivation. If it has dropped, we need to look at why. A drop in motivation also means a drop in the will to take power. Sometimes our lack of motivation can be caused by fears of change and of growth.
The working-through process means we are getting in touch with ourselves, perhaps for the first time. We become aware of how we think and react on a day-to-day basis, which usually gives us insights into ourselves which we have not had before.
Sometimes these insights can be quite threatening, as they could signal the need for changes in our life.
The drop in motivation may mean we are avoiding these insights. Everyone wants to recover, but many of us want recovery to mean we will return to our former self. The working-through process means we are getting in touch with ourselves, with feelings, needs and desires we may never have known existed. These will need to be integrated and their integration will mean not a return to the old, but the birth of the new.
Have a look and see if fear of change has caused the drop in motivation. Become aware of how those fears are holding you back.
*95\94\8*
Is there a time of day or night that you dread? Maybe it’s the fight at naptime, or that first early morning call, or the inevitable middle-of-the-night visit.
Take a minute to look at your trouble spots. Certainly a child can show more than one problem at more than one time of day, but the first step is to figure out “what is happening when?” In this chapter we will break down the day into segments where sleep is likely to become an issue. There are new ways to think about things and some tips to try. Some ideas apply primarily to infants, others are more applicable to older children. Feel free to focus on what fits your child and family the most.
To fall asleep means to be separated from those you love and trust. It is no easy task and is especially hard during times of developmental upheaval. Sleep problems often show themselves when separation anxieties are an expected part of development. A child might think the following:
When I close my eyes, it’s dark—everything is gone. I wonder where I am going…and I wonder where you are.
A parent’s job is to find the balance between being supportive and being firm, to be sure in her own heart that nothing bad will happen to the child while he sleeps—then to communicate that in a cheerful, confident manner.
Let him borrow some of your confidence until he develops his own. Reassure him you are nearby. Call to him or visit occasionally if that helps. Tell him what you do while he sleeps (something boring). After rest time, point out that he woke safely and you were there.
Dr. Spock recommends that parents of children who are experiencing peak separation issues sit in a chair next to their beds until they fall asleep. Don’t over-coddle, but don’t abandon him to tough it out on his own. Because he really needs to see you, letting him cry-it-out at peak separation times will only escalate the fear and crying.
*24\67\8*
Extreme agitation and restlessness are not always due to nervous tension. These symptoms can be caused by certain drugs — antinausea drugs, some sedatives, some cough mixtures and medicines designed to dry up phlegm, and corticosteroids. So, if you get these symptoms, especially if they start quite suddenly, ask your doctor to check through your medicines for any that could be causing it. The culprit will usually be one you have just started taking.
This is another area where nurses, physiotherapists and occupational therapists are likely to be of very much more practical help than doctors. If you actually already have developed, or do develop, a pressure sore, you will certainly need this help to get it healed. But don’t leave it until then to ask for advice. If you can’t move around freely and easily, ask these people for help with choosing and getting into good positions, with ways to keep dry, with easy to manage ways of padding your danger points and with ideas of what to rub on any sore spots. You are unlikely to develop any pressure sores if you follow their advice.
*220/40/1*
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